Assignment 1 Revision

I. Introductory Paragraph

A. Summary of author’s essay

B. Claim: In the Essay “Waking up and Taking Charge” by Anya Kamenetz, the author gives a very effective message that major changes to student debt can occur through student organization and united action.

II. Middle Paragraphs

A. Cover paragraphs 1-5

1. Opens with paragraph “down to earth” wording to lure in the reader
2. Calling young people to action making them feel empowered
3. Gives example from Yale showing results are possible with her proposition

B. Cover paragraphs 6-11

1. Gives a proposition where to start the movement
2. Calls for effective change in Congress
3. Gives an easy first step of bringing the topic of student debt more public to warn others
4. Gives a proposition that laws be made to protect young adults from credit card debt and signing up for something they will regret

C. Cover paragraphs 12-22

1. Calls for students to be more active in making their needs heard
2. Gives examples from students in UK and Canada who were successful to back her call to action
3. Gives an example of America’s Student Organization and how weak it is
4. Gives examples of protests that were not successful in California and New York

D. Cover paragraphs 23-29

1. Gives an example of a successful action committee, VA21
2. Encourages students to join a PAC like VA21
3. Comes from the opposing side by admitting that VA21 would not be likely to confront unfair credit card marketing

III. Ending Paragraph on Rhetorical Appeals

A. Author uses persuasion as a rhetorical appeal

B. Add quotes where the author uses reason, character, emotion, and style

C. Final conclusion

Rough Draft:

Introductory paragraph-

The Essay, “Waking Up and Taking Charge” by Anya Kamenetz, is about the ever increasing student debt and what students should do to fix it. The essay starts off calling young adults to make a movement against unfair education costs which leads to crippling college debt. Students at Yale University took a stand by sitting in the admissions office insisting that change be made to the requirements for tuition which resulted in Yale requiring no tuition from lower income families. The author offers this occasion as an example demonstrating the effectiveness of unified student action. She emphasizes that for the larger problems facing young adults with education, only a large movement would work against the government. Financial aid should lower the amount that students can borrow, and the topic of risky unsafe student loans should be more public and recognized. Congress should take on the issue of high annual interest rates and colleges should limit student’s exposure to the credit card companies who try to get students to sign up for their credit card in the hauls on campus. Students need to start standing up for the issues that directly affect them like students in other countries do. College students in the United Kingdom and Canada have lobbied together against high school fees and have prevailed so American students should follow suit. The author states that students should join a PAC like VA21 which taking actions in a united way for fairer college costs. In the Essay “Waking up and Taking Charge” by Anya Kamenetz, the author gives a very effective and believable message that major changes to student debt can occur through student organization and united action.